now i 
see it

01. What you can find

You are invited to wander, explore, ponder, listen.

Steep through in one sitting, return visits, click and exit.

 

On this site you can:
 

• watch the recorded recital performance of,

• regard photos and accompanying reflections^ exhibited during,

• listen to music from a collaborative playlist created as part of—

—my [now i see it] event held on Friday 18 August 2023 in Singapore! It's best experienced on your desktop browser. I organised this event primarily to raise funds for my thyroid nodule-related medical procedures and Alexander Technique education fees, and also to share with everyone the reflections on living and learning through music and psychosomatic experiences I've journeyed through in the past 2-3 years. 

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^All photos taken by me using a Huawei phone, Samsung phone, or Canon DSLR; recital video recorded with 2 humble DSLRs, and a Zoom H5. 

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02. Ticketed access*

The following pages are only accessible with a password (tabs with *):

RECITAL*, home (series)*, and dramatic skies*

 

If you have already purchased a ticket to watch the recital in-person or digitally (thank you for your support in making this event possible!), check your email/phone for the password. If you've yet to receive the password, please contact me directly.

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03. Get a ticket!

If you would like to purchase a ticket to watch the recital and view the ticketed photos (what does one call this?), head to the CONTACT page for ways to get in touch with me to enquire.

 

Regular — SG$35 / US$26

Student — SG$25 / US$18.50

 

*If you’d like to contribute to my medical and educational fund, I’m open to any amount above that too! 

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04. Reflections on [now i see it]

To read my reflections on creating the event, click here.

 

TLDR; I have a currently-benign thyroid nodule that is pretty big, and that is still growing on the right side of my thyroid. When I first noticed it in August 2022, boom, cue health and voice-related worries. Or rather really loud and panicked anxieties. I wanted to perform and sing more than I did before, to celebrate my voice in its many dimensions (sonically, energetically, psychoemotionally) before anything may take away my ability to use my voice.

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Since then, I have been undergoing many medical procedures and attending many medical and vocal-related reviews to understand how it affects my health; how it would affect my voice and life. Before holding this event, it seemed like I would be going for a big surgery that had a 10-20% chance of rendering it difficult/impossible to sing for...the rest of my life. I'd wanted to sing for the last time before the surgery—much dramatic, but also the reality was so palpable back then, given that my nodule is more than 90% of my right thyroid size. 

 

After many more consultations, my doctor and I discussed ways to avoid that big risk i.e. I don't do the surgery. But, I will need to continue to go for ultrasound reviews and check-ups every 6-8 months for...again, the rest of my life. (RIP monies...) Unless it shrinks, which is unlikely although its origin and behaviour in humans is still largely a mystery to specialists in this field.

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Left alone, currently my thyroid nodule doesn't affect my daily life and voice use at all. For that I am glad, thankful, and am excited to see where else time and curiosities about sound-making will bring me! (: I've started practising extreme vocal techniques again (metal, rock, distortion sounds), singing styles I'm unfamiliar with, and sharing more vulnerable aspects of my self in ways so new, so bold. It's been wonderful and scary all at once to share that with trusted peers and friends. And so satisfying.

 

Thanks for reading!